Helping Selena Make Friends

One thing that seems to be a common thread with Gifted Children, or Autistic Children is their struggles with making friends. I think Colleen from Raising Lifelong Learners wrote an excellent post on helping Gifted Children Make Friends. She has some great ideas and if your wondering how to help your Gifted Child, or looking for information as to why your Gifted Child struggles in making friends I highly recommend checking her post out. 

For us we struggle with two areas while trying to see that Selena gets her social needs met. We noticed from the time Selena discovered she could read all by herself, she use to get confused as to why other children her age could not do the same things she did. Her vocabulary was so strong that most kids didn't understand what she was talking about, sometimes even adults didn't understand her. The second part that has hindered Selena is her inability to deal with large group activities. When in a situation where there are too many children, her anxieties get the best of her and she goes into flight mode looking for a quiet place to retreat to herself, this is more of a result of the Autism. 

She wanted friends, every time we went for counseling, she would leave in tears crying, "I just want to be normal. I just want to be a normal kid!" We felt this strain was breaking her so we stopped therapy for now. Since we have Selena's self esteem has returned and she excepts the fact that it is OK to be different. We still longed to see her have friends. 

This is not something I recommend everyone doing, I think you really need to know and understand your child. We have a friend who is a single mom who was struggling to keep a job due to lack of babysitting. We have known her and her daughter since Selena was born. J is 2 years older then Selena. I agreed to babysit, and just see how the two girls would get along. It was a leap of faith that I was taking, would J understand Selena, would she except her, would they be friends? 

Let me just say these two girls play so hard together, this is not to say we don't have our moments, or times when we have to discuss appropriateness with Selena but J has become Selena's best friend. Believe it or not there are times when J even tells us to not worry, everything is fine, that Selena is being normal. J is not afraid to ask me anymore what drives Selena, or why she is doing what she is doing. J has an imagination just like Selena and they do a lot of role play with dolls, My Little Ponies, or stuffed animals. The same type play that Selena's counselor did with her. I think this is the best therapy there ever could be for any child. 

Best friends taking selfies. 

Best friends playing with their electronics. 

   What would best friends do if they couldn't enjoy the great outdoors together. From going to the park to playing in our yard, they play with a lot of passion and have a lot of fun. 

Best friends doing their homework together. Now from my point of view of how my relationship was with my best friend when I was growing up, this appears to be pretty normal to me.

This has worked and been a positive experience for us, but remember we can't pick our children's friends. These two girls didn't have to get along as well as they do, but we are pretty pleased that they do.

For Good Friends

Yesterday we woke up and Selena was so excited, she was having the one friend who she has known since day 1 coming over. I was looking forward to the day, the chance to visit with my friend of 20 years. I read something a while back, and now can’t remember where I read it, but it said something like, “Good friends can go for a long time without seeing each other or talking, and just pick up where they left off.” That is just the way it is for this family and ours.

To think we met when we both lived North of Spokane, when I had one of her daughters in my AWANA club. Our friendship quickly developed, and has endured over all these years. We’ve seen each other through the fun times, the rough times, encouraged, helped, and supported each other. I just can’t imagine my life without her in it.

The day was perfect for the two girls to play outside. Funny how the morning was wet, and at times we had rain off and on, but from the moment they pulled into our driveway the skies got blue, the sun was out, it was a very pleasant day. The two girls spent quite a bit of time outside, swinging on the swing, playing too many games to list according to Selena, and searched for insects together.

In the house they played with Selena’s doll houses, which by the way use to belong to this family. They played hide and seek, tea party, and I truly do not know all that they played. They just had so much fun together.

It is always so special when we can spend time with friends, and even more special when we have such wonderful memories that we have made through the years, and knowing we have many more memories yet to make.

Selena’s New Pets

This little fellow has visited this stump every morning. We asked Selena to give him a name, she chose “Pecker”. We talked her into naming him “Woody”. We have so many birds in our yard from blue jays to pigeons. I love watching as Selena runs around the yard with her finger up in the air making bird calls thinking the birds will one day fly down and land on her finger. Wouldn’t that be a shocker if one actually did?

Friday evening Selena had a birthday party to go to. She had a lot of fun, while all the other’s were older then her, she still had a lot of fun in the games. This was also a farewell party for her “Best” friend who is leaving her grandparents to go live with her mom. She will be back to visit at times, so it isn’t like Selena will never see her again, but it was still hard for Selena.

The kids had so much fun making prom dresses out of toilet paper, popping balloons, which once again Selena was not able to break her balloon by sitting on it, and running around just having fun. Pizza, cake and ice cream always makes the party better.

We will miss you Miss T, but we know that we will be seeing you again soon. Have fun with your mom and your baby sister and take care. We love you sweetie.

Blogging Friends

After a long day in Olympia, Selena and I came home to find a package on our door step. Natalie and her daughter, Anna from Mouse Grows Mouse Learns, was very gracious and sent Selena some Christmas presents.

Selena was so excited to find a brand new shirt, which as you can see in the picture fit her so nicely. She was thrilled with the Change Color Markers as well as the Playmobile. She had to try on the new shirt, try the markers, then make her way to the playmobile, which is a Polar Explorer. She has had him wearing his snow shoes, his skis, pulling his sled, using his flashlight, binoculars, drinking from his thermos, sleeping in his sleeping bag, and just about everything one can think of.

She truly enjoyed discovering this package especially since she was so sad over getting two shots at the doctor. We sure look forward to someday meeting Natalie and Anna in person.

Saturday and Good Friends

I had plans to do a lot around here at home while I had Papa at home to help on Saturday. Friday night though my dear friend Jean, called and asked me to go to the Mall in Olympia with her. She just had bypass surgery the first of October and this is the first time she has been out. Her daughter Tammy decided to join us. It was such a blessing not only to get a break away myself and be in such great company, but also to see Jean go to town and to actually walk almost the entire length of the Mall after all she has been through. She truly is an inspiration considering in the last two years she has gone through a stroke, knee surgery, a heart attack, eye surgery, and now this triple bypass surgery. It seems like nothing but nothing keeps her down even at the tender age of 80 years young.

When I got home Papa was already fixing Selena her dinner. I am so thankful that he understands my need to get out and his willingness to jump right in and take my place while I am not here. I don’t ask to get away very often, so it is always so special when I do, that he never complains or asks me not to go.

After Selena ate her dinner suddenly I heard the piano. Now we have tried to deter her from playing on the piano, since this one belongs to our landlord. I couldn’t resist though letting her just play for a while, since she wasn’t pounding on the keys.

 

I just love her posture while sitting at the piano, the way she tries so hard to make her fingers work on the keys, and the look of concentration on her face while she tries to read the music. I have a feeling that come next year we will look for a piano teacher and get her some lessons.

You might be wondering what happened to our piano from our other house, simply put the estimate we were given to have it worked on was way more then we felt the piano was worth. For the amount they wanted we could easily go and buy her a very nice key board. The fact that this piano was to stay in the house, and I didn’t need two pianos, we allowed our landlord to do what he wanted to do with the other piano. I am not sure if he found someone to buy it, put it in storage or what he did with it.

Saturday was a very good day, spending time with such good friends, coming home to find things in order, knowing that Papa and Selena had some quality time together, then to finish my day off watching as Selena once again showed just how passionate she is for music. To think she has so many options, from the piano, a flute and a clarinet, I wonder if she will choose just one, or be like her mother and absorb all the musical instruments and learn as much as she can about them all. Yes, her mother does have an ear for music and while everyone told us she would never learn to play a musical instrument due to her learning disability, she surpassed all their expectations and learned to play several instruments. Too bad she didn’t keep up with her passion.

I am truly thankful for good friends, and my family who fill my heart with so much joy and love.

Selena’s Play Date

This evening, we had a little friend of Selena’s come over for a few hours. Her Grandparents went out to dinner, so yes we babysat for them, now they in turn will have to babysit for us some night.

The girls had so much fun together. I started them out with an art project. We made handprint hearts. Now Selena would not let me take pictures of her final projects. She didn’t want to stop playing long enough to allow that. I didn’t get any pictures of the actual activity as I was to busy painting hands and positioning them on the paper, then cutting them out.

Selena’s handprint heart.

This is Miss T with her art work. We used the bubble bath paints, I painted the girls hands with red, then had them position them on the the paper so that they made a heart shape. Then while they continued to paint I cut the hearts out.

The girls had so much fun, they played with Selena’s pattern blocks, worked on puzzles, colored with crayons, and played with playdough.

Selena's Tid Bits

We had a very nice surprise a couple of weeks back when Kelly, Nikki, and Lindsay came to visit. Selena loved playing with Lindsay, too bad the weather didn't cooperate to go to the park. I can't get over how much these two girls have grown. It was really nice to visit with Kelly and Nikki. To think we raised our older kids together, from Awanas, through homeschooling, etc... Now here we are with young children again. I missed them while they were gone on their journey, but was happy that they got to go do what they wanted to do. I hope to see them again here soon!

Selena has been doing some pre-schooling here lately. She is learning how to cut with scissors. She can spend a good 30 min. to an hour trying to cut paper. Actually she is getting pretty good and has created some neat crafts with the scraps she has cut out. I just love her intensity though as she works with those scissors, and trying so hard to get the fine motor skills to work.

Now don't ask me why on the hottest day through our heat wave, Selena decided she had to wear my coat. She looks like a little eskimo! Oh well, she had fun.

It has been a challenge with het lately, not a bad thing, she is just really getting more independent. She is growing so fast, it is hard to believe she will be 3 in December.

High School Friends

Friday I went to Auburn to meet up with Laura, a friend of mine from High School. Get this we had not seen each other in 29 years! The day started out with my arriving at her house at 10:00 A.M. I am surprised I found her house so easily, thank you Map Quest! It was so nice to see her again and believe me, she is still the same Laura from High School, really hasn't changed much. She really has been such a good friend and was the only friend who kept in touch with me during my illness, she will always be dear to me.

After I arrived we headed off to Kent to go shopping, we went to Big Lots, where I got Selena some school supplies. Then she took me to Stupid Prices. I had never been in that store before so I was pretty taken with all the good buys they had on clothing. Got some cute things too! Then we went to Duke's Chowder House for lunch.

Laura and I after Lunch, Boy was it a hot day!

When we got done with lunch we went back to Laura's to wait for her husband, Andy to get off work. She cleaned out her closets, so I came home with a huge bag of clothes that normally she would have sold on Ebay. After Andy got home he had to show off his new car! I was just in awe to see a brand new Dodge Charger, then to be able to sit in it. Wish there would have been more time for a ride, oh well maybe next time.

Oh yes what a nice ride!

We then headed off to the Iron Horse for dinner. We had so much food and let me tell you their Onion rings are fantastic! While Laura and Andy had a few more beers then I did, I atleast had to have one, been a long time since I have had a beer.

A Toast To Friendship!

Myself, Andy,and Laura.

We finished the evening off back at their place where we laughed and talked all evening. We had so much fun. Boy we even stayed up until 11:00 P.M. now that is late for us oldies!

Drink up Laura!

Love ya Laura, and next time Michael is going to join me as well. We must get together and do more shopping. Thanks for all the fun and for just being "YOU"!

Time Flies

Wow! It has been so long since I made a post here. So much has happened on this end since I last posted, I don't even know where to start catching up. We had a great summer, the weather couldn't have been better. In June we found a wonderful Church home. How great it is to be serving the Lord with a wonderful extended family. In July we spent a weekend at the beach and had a blast. The weather was great, Selena went on her first carasel ride and she absolutely loved digging in the sand at the beach.

I have now made up with the friend in my last post. I am so happy too as she truly is a very good person and one I missed very much. I will try to do better at keeping up with my Blog this time and try to get some new pictures posted of Selena.

Feeling Tired

Not that the title really matches this post, because it doesn't really. I have had a situation that I got tired of and now I regret letting it go to the point that I may have lost a friendship over it. What do you do though when you have a very good friend who all of a sudden decides that they know what is best for you and your family? They have all the answers to what church you should be going to, where you husband should be working, how you should be raising your child, and what you should be doing to make a little extra money...the list goes on.

I regret to say I had heard enough of it especially when this friend sat in my living room and once again started in about church, ok she asked me what I was looking for in a church...I got out "One with people closer to my age"...well you know there is a younger couple at her church oh he is about 68 years old....excuse me I am only 46 umm I don't consider that close to my age. Then suddenly she was asking why my husband didn't ride the public transportation to work. I have gone over this with her many times that the schedule doesn't work out with his schedule...so then it was "Well he will just have to come back here to work" Excuse me and who is going to tell his boss this and not get him fired???? She kept nagging and nagging, until I finally announced I had heard enough and didn't want to talk to her about this any longer. She got up and sadly to say announced she would never come back and bug me again and walked out.

I so much want to make amends with her, but I don't want the nagging again. Besides who gave her the right to think that she could run my house hold this way? Who gave her the right to act like a mom when I don't need a mom, I had a wonderful mother and no body but no body will ever take her place.

That is the story!