How do I find time for myself? That seems to be the question at Three Thinking Mothers this week. I had a quick chuckle and asked “Really is there such a thing? You mean Mom’s take a time out?” Oh of course we all find that time that is designated just for us. When I had my older children these times seemed so much easier to find, after all I had my mom and mother-in-law who would gladly watch the children while I got out with friends, or a night out with my husband. Gosh, now I am the grandma who should be just watching the child while her parents get a break, but somehow that ended up with me being the full time grandma, the one needing the break.
I discovered very fast this time around was really different, as most of my friends at that time were just that Grandmas, they didn’t have children at home and truly did not want to babysit. I had to learn to be very creative and very thankful for a husband who understands that I do need that time for me so he is always willing to take over while I depart.
I was reading an article today in the Above Rubies Magazine that I had just received.While it was talking about having peace in the home, one section I thought spoke a thousand words to me about finding time for me. It was entitled Watch Your Priorities. Do you find yourself spending more time away from home then at home. Running children from this sport to that sport, or this play date to the next play date? Do you begin to feel that you are parenting more in the car then you are in the home? Guess what if you are feeling tired and discovering your having a hard time keeping up, you child probably is too. This might be a good time to relook at your schedule and prioritize what is the most important, and cut out all the unnecessary junk that fill up your days. The worse thing that can happen is your child might miss something for a while, but they might just discover that they enjoy the rest they get from just staying at home too.
We do not go a lot, I am very lucky that Selena doesn’t mind if we go a lot she is like me more of a homebody which makes this truly work in our home. By not having so much on my schedule I have learned to be able to work in more time in the mornings before she gets up, and since the house is in order when Papa gets home, he has no problem with picking up the dinner dishes so I can escape to a hot bath, or a peaceful walk with the dog. Since Selena isn’t use to having to be somewhere all the time, she is happier to curl up with a book while I relax with a good magazine, book or my Bible.
Since we keep a very rigid night time routine, and insist that Selena is in bed by 8:00, well 8:15 by the time we finish brushing the teeth, prayers, bedtime stories and final tuck in. This gives Papa and I a good two hours to be together, rather we use the time to discuss the important parent things we need to discuss, or events of the day, fit in a TV show or two, or just sit in quiet the two of us enjoying just being in each others company.
We do take offers from church family to babysit, and do get away every so often for a nice dinner, though it is during these times that we both discover that we miss Selena and our well oiled routine, that sometimes we forget how to truly enjoy ourselves.
We’ve really had to rethink what the “My Time” looks like, feels like in order to make this full time grandparent thing work. After almost 5 years now it feels very good to just know that by grabbing the simple moments throughout the day and evening truly can go a long way. Also working as a team as well as Papa and I do doesn’t hurt either.
How do you find time for yourself?
It's funny, this is exactly the thought that was on my mind yesterday, while I was cleaning the bathrooms. What is me time anyway? Aren't I always myself? (and yes I like aren't and not am not in that sentece even if it isn't correct grammar). So, anytime I'm spending is "me time", right? Of course, my situation is different from yours, because I'm on the first time around. I chose to get married, quit my job, have six children, along with my husband, this was the life I wanted - so it really is "me". And, while I won't claim to love every moment of cleaning the bathrooms - I do love the fruits of the labor, so really it's for me, too. All these things - a peaceful life, a comfortable home, and healthy children are such blessings. I'm not sure who came up with the idea that I need to shut myself, or run out, away from that in order to be refreshed, but I think maybe they were wrong.
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring from both you and the commenter with 6 kids! ;) I'm not sure why I'm always craving alone time especially since I probably have it more than most (keeping things in perspective). Typing this is my alone time, in fact!
ReplyDeleteI really loved your post. I totally agree with you about the importance of time at home. As a working parent, it's hard to get a lot of "me" time, but on the other hand, I do get to switch roles and experience the working side of life, so I am not complaining!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking, Debbie! I loved your post. :-)
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