Family, Holidays, Opinions.

The topic at Three Thinking Mother’s this week is Holiday Traditions, and what do you do when your family doesn’t agree with your choice to homeschool. I guess I am pretty fortunate in this area as most of my family do not question my decision. We usually spend the holidays with my Uncle and his family, though they have never homeschooled, they support our decision 100%. I suppose one reason for this is that they have raised their children in the school district, not truly thinking they could homeschool. They have had issues with the school districts, as well as seen the affect of the wrong peer pressure on their children. The over all feeling with many in my family is that the schools are failing our children these days.

This is not to say there are not some in my family who oppose our decision, and at times yes, they do give me reasons for opposing it. Mostly it is about socialization. I truly take these oppositions with a grain of salt and move forward, I seldom even attempt to rationalize, or uphold our decision, I guess basically I just agree to disagree with them.

I truly feel lucky in this sense that I do not have to listen to family members ideas, attitudes and continuous questions concerning our decision. I know there are those in the family who do not understand the whole homeschool issue, they probably do oppose our decision, however, they never say much. If there was one thing that I think all of us who were raised by the generation of my parents, we were all taught that some times it is better to just keep our opinions to ourselves, unless we see the situation being harmful. We were taught to embrace our differences, and no matter what to be as supportive as possible, and always be available for support should the time arise we are needed.

I would say leave it out of the holidays as much as possible. Approach any remarks with grace, and suggest that this is a subject to be discussed at another time, do not let it rule the holiday spirit. I feel any family member would agree that the holiday table really does not need to be the battleground for the differences of opinions.

Inspiring Thankfulness in Others

Thankfulness is becoming the big topic this time of year, especially with Thanksgiving just around the corner. Three Thinking Mothers once again has that way of just jumping through the seasons with their upcoming thoughts.

So many times I feel that the words, “I am thankful for…” seem to only ring this time of the year. While we can all think of many things we are thankful for at Thanksgiving and we inspire our children to think of the things they are thankful for as they create Thanksgiving crafts, how about the rest of the year? How about in our daily lives, even when the day has been so hectic we feel that we are pulling our hair out at every turn, do you stop and think of at least one thing your thankful for?

I suppose I was fortunate when growing up that my mom always drilled into me to look for the good things in everything. When things just didn’t seem to be going my way or when I was just not having a good day, my mom would pipe up and make me look for the bright side, something good, something to be thankful for. Through the years I have developed this practice and have discovered how blessed, calm, and bright my day can become just by stopping in the middle of havoc and taking a deep breath and looking for something good.

My husband on the other hand can take the smallest event and turn it in to the greatest disaster ever. I find myself often having to point out the bright side for him. As an example, he was going to loan his van to a friend to make their camping trip easier. The night before they were to pick up the van, he went out to clean it up a bit. When he went to start it, yes, that’s right it wouldn’t start. He immediately began to feel like it was the end of the world, he was so disappointed in having to call his friend and tell them the van needed a new battery. I quickly jumped and before he called asked him to look on the bright side. He was so disappointed that he couldn’t think of anything good, he was letting his friends down, we would be spending so much money for a new battery, the list could go on. I finally spoke up and asked him one question, “What if this wouldn’t have happened now, and your friends got the van clear out in the backwoods, to only discover it wouldn’t start to get it home? How much would it have cost to tow it home on top of everything else?” Pondering this question my husband was finally able to realize that there was a bright side, no that did not make the van start, he still had to call and disappoint his friends, we still had to buy a new battery, but he could see the timing of this could have prevented his friends from being stranded out in the middle of no where.

I know when I was going through my lowest point in my life, when I was battling with my cancer, many times people just didn’t know what to say, or how to approach me. I could feel that they thought I was living in nothing but sadness and doom. This truly was not the case. I looked into my situation and looked for the bright side. I had so many things to be thankful for going through that:

• We had discovered it very early
• I had a great team of doctors and a great support system
• I had my husband and Selena at my side
• I didn’t get as sick as some do
• This was drawing me closer to God

The list went on and on, the point being that if we do look hard enough we can find things to be thankful for, brightness in the gloom. It isn’t always easy and sometimes we do have to work hard to find the light, but yes, no matter what it is there.

Many times I find myself talking with friends who are just struggling with issues in their lives. They just seem like it is the end of the world, they just can’t seem to get their mind off the problems of the time. I have many times used the same words to them as I use in my own life, and as I used to help my husband see the bright side. I have watched how these simple words have changed the mood of my friends, family and even myself.

There is always something we can be thankful for, sometimes we just have to look a little harder, but I think the one thing that I love the most is the simple phrase my mom left me with, “Look for the bright side of any situation.” I know for me this is the easiest way to find something to be thankful for.

How do you promote thankfulness in others? Come on over to Three Thinking Mothers and share your inspiring words of encouragement.

Favorite Fall Projects

For as long as I can remember Fall projects in my home has always revolved around the fantastic aromas of baking, canning, freezing, and family togetherness. We never had time to worry about crafts, though us kids slipped some in during the evenings after the chores were finished. Usually these crafts revolved around drawing pumpkins, coloring and decorating them.

Even with my older children, Fall brought on the trips to the Orchards, where we were found picking fresh fruits, tasting fresh ciders, and learning about all the various fruit trees, how they are managed, the proper way to pick the fruit so not to damage the tree. At home we always had our garden to harvest. Our days from the beginning of Fall were spent being busy preserving all this food, baking, enjoying the aroma, and tasting all our wonderful creations.

This was also the time of year when we began to think about the holidays. Food has always been a huge part of all of our planning. The children would pick out the best of the best jars of jams, peaches, pears, and make special gift labels with the names of family and friends that would receive these precious gifts for Christmas.

As all our work began to come to an end the kids were allowed to mix and match the fruits to make that special jar of yummy goodness that only they thought would taste good, for instance I will never forget when my son chose to use pears, bananas and strawberries to make himself a very special jar of fruit to enjoy on Christmas morning.

People use to give us the strangest looks as we would load up two grocery baskets with pumpkins and squash. I think they thought we would be using these to decorate for Halloween, though the kids did get to paint a face on one each. No these were bought so we could cook them down and freeze for fresh pies throughout the year and yummy squash to add to any dish.

Talk about freezing, We always bought two cases of Walla Walla Sweet Onions, which were diced and froze in perfect serving size for when ever I was making a dish that called for onion. Bananas were purchased by the case and once ran through the food processor, would be precisely measured and froze for delicious banana breads throughout the year as well.

It is going to be a little more difficult to get all the fresh fruit where we live now, but starting next year we look forward to taking the necessary drives to as many fruit and vegetable stands that we can and once again begin this great family tradition with Selena.

As I said in the beginning, Fall has always been more about storing up food for the year, (I always imagine squirrels, when I say that) then it has been about crafts. I guess, old habits die hard, but believe me my family has always rested assured through some of the terrific storms we get, the days and weeks we have been without power, they always have something yummy in our pantry to eat. It’s always been nice from my point of view to not have to buy all these things throughout the year at the grocery stores either.

I have to add, watching as all the hay, straw and firewood was brought in up here for the horses, and homes, flooded me with so many great memories. It truly helped me to get in the mood for all the baking we have been doing.

Pop on over to Three Thinking Mothers and see what others do this time of year with their families.

Finding Time For Me

How do I find time for myself? That seems to be the question at Three Thinking Mothers this week. I had a quick chuckle and asked “Really is there such a thing? You mean Mom’s take a time out?” Oh of course we all find that time that is designated just for us. When I had my older children these times seemed so much easier to find, after all I had my mom and mother-in-law who would gladly watch the children while I got out with friends, or a night out with my husband. Gosh, now I am the grandma who should be just watching the child while her parents get a break, but somehow that ended up with me being the full time grandma, the one needing the break.

I discovered very fast this time around was really different, as most of my friends at that time were just that Grandmas, they didn’t have children at home and truly did not want to babysit. I had to learn to be very creative and very thankful for a husband who understands that I do need that time for me so he is always willing to take over while I depart.

I was reading an article today in the Above Rubies Magazine that I had just received.While it was talking about having peace in the home, one section I thought spoke a thousand words to me about finding time for me. It was entitled Watch Your Priorities. Do you find yourself spending more time away from home then at home. Running children from this sport to that sport, or this play date to the next play date? Do you begin to feel that you are parenting more in the car then you are in the home? Guess what if you are feeling tired and discovering your having a hard time keeping up, you child probably is too. This might be a good time to relook at your schedule and prioritize what is the most important, and cut out all the unnecessary junk that fill up your days. The worse thing that can happen is your child might miss something for a while, but they might just discover that they enjoy the rest they get from just staying at home too.

We do not go a lot, I am very lucky that Selena doesn’t mind if we go a lot she is like me more of a homebody which makes this truly work in our home. By not having so much on my schedule I have learned to be able to work in more time in the mornings before she gets up, and since the house is in order when Papa gets home, he has no problem with picking up the dinner dishes so I can escape to a hot bath, or a peaceful walk with the dog. Since Selena isn’t use to having to be somewhere all the time, she is happier to curl up with a book while I relax with a good magazine, book or my Bible.

Since we keep a very rigid night time routine, and insist that Selena is in bed by 8:00, well 8:15 by the time we finish brushing the teeth, prayers, bedtime stories and final tuck in. This gives Papa and I a good two hours to be together, rather we use the time to discuss the important parent things we need to discuss, or events of the day, fit in a TV show or two, or just sit in quiet the two of us enjoying just being in each others company.

We do take offers from church family to babysit, and do get away every so often for a nice dinner, though it is during these times that we both discover that we miss Selena and our well oiled routine, that sometimes we forget how to truly enjoy ourselves.

We’ve really had to rethink what the “My Time” looks like, feels like in order to make this full time grandparent thing work. After almost 5 years now it feels very good to just know that by grabbing the simple moments throughout the day and evening truly can go a long way. Also working as a team as well as Papa and I do doesn’t hurt either.

How do you find time for yourself?

Finding Your Tribe

I wasn’t going to join in on the Upcoming Thoughts this week at Three Thinking Mothers. Mainly because this has been a huge struggle for me to find my Tribe. I enjoyed reading all the other’s contributions, and it truly inspired me to tell my story of how I found my tribe.

We all know the importance of surrounding ourselves with those who encourage, are like thinking, as well as dependable, you know that group that become friends, mentors, partners, the people who truly help each other when it comes to life, parenting, schooling, I think you get the idea.

My online Tribe developed long before my real life Tribe did. It’s been difficult being a grandparent raising the grandchild to find the real life Tribe. Face it no matter how many times we went to the library, went to the park, met young families through church or within the community, though our children were the same age, I was always quite a few years older. I understand the feelings of the young mom’s, I mean come on who wants Grandma tagging along.

My online Tribe truly began before I even started blogging. One person, we met through Ivillage, invited me into the life of her and her daughter. She introduced me to the blogging world. From there on finding my online Tribe has taken over the course of the last couple of years. It consists of a handful of mom’s who are my constants. They are the one’s who are themselves, blog from their heart, listen when I need to be heard, pray with me when prayer is needed, give that sound advice, and share common grounds in our parenting and desires for our children. I have a few that are with me in constant prayer, a couple who are just a telephone call away, but mostly we all know we’re here for each other. I hope someday I am able to meet these fellow online bloggers, mothers, my online Tribe in person.

My real life Tribe has came in a much slower process. I however feel I have finally found the connect with some fine Moms who desire to develop our Tribe. We share many things from homeschooling, a strong sense of who we are in God, as well as the direction we desire for our children to grow and learn. I tried to connect with these women last year, however when we discovered all of Selena’s health concerns and had all the many trips to the Children’s Hospital, clinics and just learning and understanding all we needed to learn, the connections just did not happen. I am so happy though that these fine moms never gave up on me, and we are now off on a new adventure, getting to know one another, sharing with one another and I am excited over the beginning of what I see as a real life Tribe.

When we first took Selena in these things just were not a big part of our thought process. I never gave it a thought that finding other Moms to surround myself with would be so difficult. Once we started down the road though I never gave up as I knew they were out there just waiting for me to find them.

Time Management

Just when I thought I had our time management all figured out, you know the exact schedule for getting all the house work done, the time to sit down and work with Selena, the nap time, meal time, and the time for Papa as well as the time for myself something happened. Everything just kind of blew up, well, we moved. Now living in a house that is almost three times the size of the house we had lived in for 7 years, the tiny home that took me all of 20 minutes to clean, unless I was deep cleaning, to a house that takes me half a day to work my way through every room to clean. This is not to count the time it takes to go sweep off and wash down the webs around our huge porch, nor to find time to get out and weed or work in all the garden spaces.

I know having a 4 year old does tend to throw any time management plans right out the window, especially an active one like Selena. I don’t truly know when it happened but my schedule definitely fell way beyond the back burner into something known as the deep dark memories of how my home use to run. Really it is not that bad, but I find to keep on any type of schedule these days and to hold on to those routines, while fulfilling all the memorable times with Selena has entwined into a chaotic mess.

For now I wouldn’t have it any other way though, I know this time in our lives will not last forever. So long as my house is clean, beds are made, dishes off the counters and Selena and I are continuing to have fun in school and play that is fine for right now. I seem to always fit time in for Papa and time for Me, so I have chose to not sweat the little stuff.

Papa has been a huge help in this area, he actually does the laundry for me, which is so nice considering our laundry facilities is a total separate room off the porch, yes that is right I have to go outside of my house to a whole different room to do laundry. I didn’t think that much about it until I discovered with Selena it is quite a bit more inconvenient. My first thought was to do laundry while she was napping, that would work right, well, she gave up her naps so no, that idea flew right out the door.

I find it harder these days to focus on Sunday school materials, since Selena is on the go throughout the day, come evening I am tired needing Papa time, me time, and then off to bed. This has also cut into the time I spend thinking of fun activities for the next day of school. I figure this is OK right now, well not OK, but it has to be as we go through a whole new dynamic of a 4 year olds growth. Our rainy season is upon us now, and as we spend more time in the house, I feel that time management will once again become something that will fall into place.

Oh how the Seasons in life can be challenging, but they can also be filled with many wonderful learning experiences and room for growth for all.  

Prioritizing in Homeschool

The topic this week at Three Thinking Mothers is How do you prioritize in homeschool? This was a topic that was kind of hard for me to put into words. When I think of prioritizing, I think of a list of things that Selena just absolutely needs to learn this year, then numbering them in importance. I had to really let go of that idea and dig deep into how do I figure out what we will learn throughout our year in order to answer this question.

I do not place any high expectations on any certain thing that we MUST learn or leave anything on the back burner that we will just wait to learn. I suppose being so much like unschoolers I do not see the need to feel pressure over these things. So what is it that I do, to track our learning achievements and gain a picture of where to go next?

At the end of a school year I outline everything that we did do, the light bulb moments where Selena truly grasped the concept, the activities that proved to be attention getters, and even the things we tried but had little to no success in. In planning for the new year, I set course knowing that we will cover certain subjects every day, right now we are still just one subject a day, but many times find we cover many more then that.

Learning in our home truly takes on a meaning and feel all of its own. I introduce what we will be working on, what direction we will be going in for the year, and then Selena is free to explore all the different ways she can find to learn in those areas. The first couple of weeks often look more like me being the full time teacher, but within the first month or so, Selena starts to discover so many skills that she can build upon or first time discoveries that we both can build upon on her own.

Every evening I sit down and log what was learned or what was covered that day with emphasis placed on did she learn something new or was it more of a review. For the times that she seems to get caught up in the familiarity and doesn’t seem to be moving forward, I step back in and push on to the next level. If I see that she is struggling with “What more can I do in this subject?” we sit down and dwell deep and look for fun games or activities that she can use to move forward.

Since I already know that Selena is well ahead of the game we just want to assure that she is able to take new things with her throughout the year. I don’t sweat the “She didn’t get it moments”, as next year will be a whole new year and a whole new level of maturity, we will just approach it then.

I will be totally honest, there are even times when I haven’t even thought through what we will do the next day. We wake up and knowing it is the day for reading or math, I will just lay the supplies out where Selena can find them and just see what she does for the day. I am always available should she want to dig deeper, and we hit the computer or books to discover more materials we can work on. Selena has no problem waiting for me to search, print, or pull out materials, that she quickly grabs and runs off to begin to work on. I involve her as much as possible in the thought process, the searching, and helping to gather materials we need to satisfy her desires for that day.

Back to the original question, “How do I prioritize in homeschooling?” I guess one could say I don’t.

Our Favorite Read Alouds

I have been following Three thinking Mothers from day one that they introduced their new blog, concept, and have enjoyed watching it grow and develop into a place that has something to offer to any mom. The Mom on this site that I know the best is Mary from Homegrown Learners. If you haven’t heard of either of these blogs, I highly recommend checking them out. The other Mom’s I am learning more about, Jessica from Teachable Moments has a very lovely blog about homeschooling her daughters. Theresa, from Our Life in Words also has a very lovely blog worth visiting.
Recently Three Thinking Mothers got a facelift to their blog, and are creating a lot of different ideas and ways that we can share.
 
Upcoming Thoughts is one of their newest additions. They have a list of topics for the entire month. The idea is to blog about the topic and then link up at Three Thinking Mothers and share with one another. Also right now if you head over they are doing a give-a-way in honor of their facelift and this new concept. I would say head over and check it out.
This weeks topic is as my title of this post, “Your Favorite Read Alouds”. Wow I could list so many books in this section, but I am going to stick to the three that Selena has loved to hear over and over for the past 3 years, the ones that she is now able to read to us.
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss has hands down been one of Selena’s favorite books to have read to her. At first she had memorized the entire book. We put it up for a while, since I must admit Papa and I were truly getting a little tired of it. This book is back out, and Selena is so surprised with the fact that now she actually can read this book to us.

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss is one that Selena did not warm up to at first. Probably because of it’s length. Over time though she has enjoyed us reading this book to her. Now she is so pleased with herself as she is able to read at least half way through this book by herself before she decides she has read enough. We know she can read the entire book, but it is just a little much for her in one sitting.

Eloise Breaks Some Eggs by Kay Thompson was a book that I did not expect Selena to enjoy, at first she seemed confused with the book, I think she expected it to be like Pinkalicious. This book quickly joined her must read pile very quickly as she found it so hilarious. Once again this has turned into a favorite book that Selena enjoys reading with us or to us quite a bit.
I am linking up at Three Thinking Mothers.