I remember even as an infant she was very sensitive to different situations, touches, sounds, and change. As she grew it seemed that her sensitivities grew as well. She didn’t like to touch her food, touching new textures were very stressful for her. She didn’t take to change in her environment well at all.
It hasn’t been easy to parent a child who is so sensitive, but I do believe through encouragement and consistency Selena has opened up in so many areas in her life that use to just cause her to go into a complete melt down. She still has her little quirks, only wants certain cereal in the morning, only a certain type of sandwich for lunch, will only drink a certain type of juice (there is about three juices she will drink), and please oh please don’t let her clothing get wet.
She has learned that it is ok to get her hands dirty. She is learning that trying new foods can be a fun experience, it doesn’t always mean she likes what she tries, but at least she is touching, smelling and tasting them.
Along with sensitivity comes such a sense of routine. Selena is not real good at having her routine interrupted. For the most part she wakes at the same time every morning, has breakfast at the same time, gets dressed, and has her own morning routine until exactly 11:00 when she will announce it is now lunch time. For the most part her afternoons are pretty routine, and has just recently figured it out that it is ok that dinner does not go on the table at exactly 5:00 every day. She has her own evening routine and rigid bedtime routine.
I have had to go back several times and reread some of the articles I discovered about raising a sensitive child. I think the one that I have relied on the most for how we have tried to help Selena through these sensitivities is found here. This article just always reminds me that I can’t always expect Selena to change her sensitivities, but through love, and a little extra work on our part, we can help her to understand she is loved for who she is. With little nudges, and small changes, we have watched her come so far, while we still see so much of her sensitivities, we also see a child who is willing to try to overcome many of them. Will she ever really never have sensitivities, probably not, but helping her to understand that this is ok, is the first step to helping her to have the self confidence to try new things.
Do you have a sensitive child? How are some of the ways you have found to positively deal with their sensitivities?
It's interesting how you can see the person already there even when they are babies.
ReplyDeleteC is very similar. He has always been very sensitive. He thrives on routine, but if anything changes, he has a really hard time with it. He eats a pb sandwich for lunch every day and it has to be cut in four squares or he won't eat it. You can actually see him struggle with situations like this. If you tell him something is a rule, everyone better follow that rule. He took a class at a local gym and the instructor told the kids to run around the gym following the painted line. He was the only child who stayed on the line the entire time (the other kids cut across the corners). Anyway, as he gets older (he is six) he seems to be relaxing (a LITTLE) and is a little more open to change and transition. We just take it one day at a time and do our best to keep him informed about changes in routine.
ReplyDeleteThree of my five have sensitivities. They are not strict in terms of time, but in terms of things that bother them. Some we work around; some we work on changing.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post called The Highly Sensitive Child awhile back. If you get a chance, read the book because it's very helpful. It was the first book (Highly Sensitive Person) that helped me understand why I always felt "different". Having been told all my life that I was oversensitive and I needed to toughen up was hard. I cry at movies, books with sad endings, and is easily moved by music and art. Later, I discovered them to be gifts as I learned to counsel many friends who were going through tough times. It was natural for me to feel what they felt so it was easier to understand things from different perspectives. But I agree, parenting a sensitive child, let alone be one, can be difficult at times. JC has many sensory sensitivities. She has developed coping mechanisms and has adapted better to most situations but still she notices and feels more than most. I spoke with one parent who told me that through early intervention "brushing techniques" you can reprogram a lot of their sensory issues. I was skeptical at first but now I'm open to learning more. But for now, I celebrate the fact that I can experience life so FULLY, even if it can get overwhelming at times. As for parenting JC, it helps that I understand where she is coming from, the drawback is that we can absorb each other's emotions and bounce off of each other. I make a conscious decision to stay calm if I can to soothe her when she is distressed.
ReplyDeleteBut neither of us thrive on routine. Actually, we get bored if it's the same too much.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have all of those but the wet clothes. Oh my goodness can that be crazy
ReplyDeleteVery interesting post. I wouldn't call Anna overly sensitive - she is, however, fairly emphatic for a 4 year old and also doesn't like raised voices. She is extremely sensitive to scary content in the movies or books, and she has her preferences in food as well. I am in favor of accommodating her quirks and I am certain that she will grow out of some of them with time (such as food preferences). I remember huge battle about food with my mom and I swore to myself that I won't do it to Anna.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think my daughter is sensitive to some things (I guess all kids are to some extent). She always has loved art but she never liked it to touch her hands much (she surprised me recently by going crazy with painting herself...I think I usually would have directed her attention back to the paper but since we had just finished doing a project where she painted her body I decided to let her explore it a little longer). She always hated wet diapers and she would get upset if she spilled anything even if it was just a little bit. I am finding my son is not as sensitive about the diapers hee hee. I have to remind myself to check him to see if he needs a change because he never lets me know. My daughter would cry immediately after she got wet.
ReplyDeleteMy son has some sensitivities, as you call them. I read a book called The Highly Sensitive Child, which was helpful in understanding some of what he is going through. We are also looking into Occupational Therapy to help him process some of his sensory issues a little bit easier. We want to do whatever we can to make life easier for him.
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