Sunday, January 17, 2010

Feeling a Little Confused

I would normally post something like this on my private blog, but I decided to post it here.

We got up this morning, and I suddenly felt exhausted and concerned about going to church. We have loved our church, but as of late we have a situation that has drained all enjoyment out of going.

We tried Pastor’s idea, but it isn’t going to cut it. You see there is a little girl who has a lot of behavioral problems. She is almost 7 years old. Her Grandmother teaches the Nursery. This little girl should be in the children’s church, but she distracts the class so bad that unless she has supervision back there she just can’t be in there.

Grandma made the decision to keep her in the nursery with her. I had problems with this since this little girl lashes out in angry bursts and is violent at times. Pastor asked us to try just taking Selena with me to the children’s church. Ok, I said I would try. I was very proud of Selena last week for the way she handled herself during worship time and in the children’s church.

This morning though I thought Selena really should be in the Nursery with children her age. Why am I banging my head against a wall trying to create a curriculum that will meet the needs of 1st through 3rd graders, and then something to keep Selena busy and interested too.

Now in my mind if you have a sour apple don’t you remove it from the other apples? If you have a child with behavioral problems don’t you make arrangements for supervision or a workable alternative that is not going to interview with the other children? I realize it was my wishes that Selena not be in the nursery with this child, so in one way I can see where I need to remove my child, but what about the other babies to toddlers?

I desire an environment where Selena can learn, not just an environment where she is being kept occupied so everyone else can learn. This has been a very difficult situation for us. We just don’t know which way to turn. We thought things would work out this way, but come on doesn’t Selena deserve to go to church, learn and play with the other children her age, without worry of an older child disrupting the entire morning?

Sorry just had to rant!

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  1. It might sound a bit trite, but I'd say pray. God will often work out a problem like that in ways we wouldn't have thought of.

  2. You know I think Selena is a very smart little girl and it may be a brilliant idea to have her occupied but listening to the slightly advanced things you are discussing with the older kids. Just imagine the lessons she will pick up on :)

  3. Oh, feel free to RANT away! Gosh, that would REALLY bother me, too.

    Personally, I LOVE the idea that Sunday School is a social time for peers their age. The curriculum is geared towards that particular age, as well as activities and stories. I don't know, I feel like this little girl REALLY needs to be removed from the situation. I wonder what it'd be like if her grandmother wasn't in charge. I also wonder if she's bothering OTHER children.

    What an awkward, upsetting situation. I'm so sorry and know that I'll be keeping you in my mind and praying for some wisdom on all involved parts.

  4. That is a tough one. But if it was me, I would find out what the rules are in the church as to age segregation.

    I mean if there are only supposed to be children from 1to 3 in the toddler room. It is no place for a 7 year old.

    I would be having a stronger talk with the Preacher. ( Of course sometimes I should hold my tongue, but have never been able to. )

    It is for safety sake that children are kept in like age groups, so that there is less chance of harm. Seven year olds play much rougher than 3 year olds !!

    I hope you find a solution soon. hugs

  5. Yikes- what a bummer. This is a tough situation. I really hope your Pastor will get more proactive helping you figure this out!

  6. I'm starting to wonder if that little girl has some disabilities that she is not able to contain herself. Maybe that is part of the problem. At our church they have special buddies to sit with the kids who need special attention and they take them out of the class if there is starting to be a problem.
    I'll continue to pray for all that is going on for you guys, and hopefully God will work something out.
    I have eventually learned to recognize the feeling you describe as God telling me I need to do something, but I don't always know what it is. You can always call me if you need a person to rant too. And then we can laugh again afterwards with what my kids did while we were on the phone.

  7. Debbie, I would definitely act and talk to the pastor about keeping this girl away from the nursery or at least providing a "buddy" for her. It's not fair that she attacks other kids, especially at the place which supposed to be a place of peace and learning.

  8. I agree with Ticia, and Sarah.

    I don't really know what the answer is, but I feel for you. I have been thinking and wondering about your situation each week, especially as Sunday nears.

    So, here's my question, what do you do in church when adults have the bad behaviors? That is my problem at my church:-).