Our Decision About Preschool

Friday Papa and I sat down and really discussed this topic. This being a co-op there are a lot of expectations on my part to help keep the cost down. They have fundraisers throughout the year. I would be expected to contribute to my fair share on these. This can be in the form of bake sales, baking is not a problem, going up and standing in front of the grocery store with Selena in toe rain or shine is my problem.

Book sales, they ask that you contact everyone you know to buy books. I do not like these sales, first of all every school in Montesano does book sales, and it is such a small town everyone gets pretty burned out on buying from these fundraisers. Ok, I thought this would be good for Selena to go door to door and get sales, they frown on that, and with our weather I rethought that idea and decided it wouldn’t get done.

I would be expected to work two days a month in the classroom. Now that is not a problem I could handle and would probably love that. I would also have to be available for all field trips to transport Selena and possibly other children. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind transporting Selena but I would rather not transport a car load of kids.

I know I sound like a stick in the mud, but let me remind my readers, I am a grandmother here. I don’t have the energy of the younger mom. I have a lot of side affects from my cancer treatments that does affect my daily life. Aches and pains at times that leave me just wanting to lay around for a bit. I don’t complain a lot about my aches and pains and I am not going to start now, but I do know that I don’t have the stamina that I use to have. 

With all that said, Papa and I decided that this type of preschool isn’t something that we want to venture into. He suggested since this is more of a play then an education piece that if I really feel like she needs something more, then maybe I can price daycare centers in the area for a couple days a week for half days.

You know I really think Papa is right, I have my hands full now taking care of the home, preparing lesson plans, then adding on the extra expectations to have her in this preschool, how much time for me would I really be gaining. I don’t think it would turn out the way I ideally see it working. I would really like to have her be able to go play with other children, but at the same time I would like to have this time she is gone to attend women’s bible studies, knit, crochet, sew, and many of the other things that I have pushed aside to raise Selena. Now don’t take me wrong I am not complaining, as I wouldn’t have things any other way, we made the active choice to raise Selena, but at the same time it did come with many sacrifices.

I have never mentioned this on my blog and doubted I ever would, but Papa made me realize that I am very emotional right now. Some of you know about this, I have shared in personal email with a few. In about 2 weeks we are going to get the call that a grandson has been born. This child would be Selena’s brother. We had to make the most difficult decision in saying we could not take in another baby. We feel very sad that Selena won’t have her brother to play with and enjoy growing up with. This also comes with the realities that we may never see our grandson, Selena may never see her brother especially since Mom decided to move back to Arkansas. We don’t know what will come for this child, we are sure the State will get involved, and the child will go to foster care. We pray he finds a good family and has a good life. Enough said, my tears are welling up again. We will get through this bump in our lives, the pain will probably always remain, the questions, and the regrets. Yet, we know for us we are making the right decision though it has been a difficult one, one that NO grandparent should have to make.