Friday, January 8, 2010

A Revisit to an Earlier Post

How funny that sometimes we post something and suddenly find ourselves revisiting it. This week we were challenged in a decision we had to make, well that I had to make. It forced me to revisit my post on Parenting the Second Time Around.

As some of you may remember I had agreed to be the Director in our Awana program at church. At first things went pretty smooth, Selena went and had fun even when she disengaged from her bible verses, because she knew them all, and the pace was too slow for her.

Since Christmas though Selena suddenly stopped taking naps and then goes to bed between 7:15 and 7:30 then sleeps 12 to 13 hours at night. She seems very happy with this new schedule that she has chosen for herself, and doesn’t mind taking a half hour around noon, to curl up on the couch with a book or her magazine for a little quiet time.( By the way she always tells me during this time to take my nap and makes sure I lay down and shut my eyes.)

Wednesday, Awana was starting back up after the holidays, and I woke Selena a little earlier in the morning. She was crabby from being woke up a little earlier. I insisted she take a nap in preparation for Awana, that night since we would go past her bedtime. What did I get in return for this? Well, Selena woke up and was bouncing off the walls, ceiling, climbing on all the furniture, and running around the house like there was no tomorrow. Did we get to Awana? No, we did not, at dinner Selena refused to eat with me, and pushed her plate so hard she almost knocked my plate into my lap. I finished my dinner while she watched in protest. She finally started eating her dinner only to smear ketchup all over the place. This definitely is not our Selena!

What did I learn from this experience? Awana is not worth it. Selena is a much happier child keeping her schedule. I do not want a home where Selena is in trouble every 5 minutes, loosing all her privileges, and where I am pulling my hair out.

When our Pastor was visiting us today, I mentioned this to him, and was very pleased when he agreed that I was making the right choice. He reminded me that Selena is the important one in this picture, and we have to make the best decisions for her. That made me revisit my post, and gave me peace that yes, I did make the right decision. I know some would say but…you are the parent! But as a parent it is also my responsibility to listen to my child and do what is in her best interest!

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  1. We've pulled the first four of our children out of Cubbies mid-year, the first year - for similar reasons. When they were older, they were able to handle the schedule a little better. Of course, then we found that doing AWANA with multiple children made for a lot of stress on the rest of our week, as each child had different verses to learn. Finally, we pulled out entirely (I had been the Puggles director, and my husband a Sparks leader). We picked one of the TNT books, and are working through it all together at home for now - with pretty good results. Sometimes you really do have to do what is right for the family - and the pastor confirming your thoughts, is good indication that's what you're doing.

  2. I totally agree with you. Way to go on listening to your child's needs. There's always something for every season of our lives, and how awesome that Selena has you.

    By the way, Maddie recently switched her schedule up too (no naps, but sleeps from 6:30pm-8:30am). She is totally happy also, although it's been a tad difficult for this momma! New dinner times, bath times, ect!

  3. I agree with you Debbie. Anna's sleep schedule is sort of sacred to us. On most days she doesn't nap, but she is still in bed from about 2 to 4 or from 1 to 3 pm every day - resting, playing, sometimes dozing off. She goes to bed at 7:30 pm on those days, and it forces us to cancel some dates with friends and such sometimes, but in my mind it's worth it. I think you made the right decision, and maybe one day you will be able to make it work when Selena is older.

  4. I agree with you too Debbie. I have lived around sleep schedules, even getting babysitter's or grandma's for years now to help out to get Hanna and now Joe too to activities so that the little ones can nap.

    It's just not worth it to sacrifice their sleep and happiness in lots of cases for activities.

    I watch so many friends drag their kids around all day tired and cranky and I am so glad I don't do this, it's not fair to the child or the parent and in my opinion, is sometimes a bit selfish--hope I didn't "step on any toes" with that one:-).

  5. I'm still so happy that the meeting went so well, it really was an answer to prayer.