This will come as a huge shock and surprise to many of my followers, while I support and stand behind homeschooling especially when you are able to do the homeschooling. I have so loved these former years, being Selena’s first teacher, moving through the pre-school years and teaching her so much, I have been becoming very tired, always struggling inside as to where to proceed from here. I had set my timeline goal in my mind that Monday morning would be the day that my decision would be made. Either I would go enroll her in Kindergarten while we might still have a chance of being picky over what class and what teacher she would be with, or that we would continue to homeschool.
Yesterday morning upon waking up, and again fighting with myself about doing any type of school at all for the day, it just hit me. I asked Selena, “How would you like to go down and register for Kindergarten?” She was out the door before I could even grab all the filled out forms, that laid very conveniently by my purse until I made my decision. Selena was so thrilled to go into the office with me, she stood at the counter with a huge smile on her face while we turned in the paper work, and they made copies of the necessary documents.
Why did I finally choose to go this route? There is something to be said about once you have raised a family, become empty nesters, your mindset becomes more about you and your husband. You begin to make like friends who have raised their children, you begin to do things that empty nesters do. This has been the hardest struggle for me since we got Selena, I have missed my friends. I miss the bible studies, the lunch dates, and in general just getting together to visit. While I have no regrets in our taking Selena into our home and our decision to raise her, I just am at a point in my life that I need to regain the me again. Sure my life will still revolve around Selena and we will be doing the After Schooling, but I know with everything inside of me that I need this time that she will be in school to redefine me again.
Sure I worry about how Selena will do in school. When I look at what they will be learning in Kindergarten and realize that Selena knows so much of what they will be learning, the phonics, all the sight words, then some, the beginning reading, she will really gain a lot from the writing, and social aspect. Her Social aspect has always been a little concern of mine, not that we don’t have ways of socializing her, through the homeschool group, and P.E. through the local Y, these are things that still need my time. As I see myself going from here to there to meet this important part of Selena’s life, I see myself loosing that much more of myself.
I have seen so much growth and maturity in Selena in this short time that we have started T-Ball, that I know with everything inside of me that we are making the best choice here, that she will love Kindergarten, and enjoy this time to be with other adults, and children. I will enjoy just getting back into some of the things that I so miss doing for myself. I really believe this decision is going to bring so much more balance in our home, in our relationship with each other, and who could ask for more then that.
We have one very excited Kindergartner, who was a wee bit disappointed when she discovered she had to wait until next fall to start school. She was so sure she would just get swept off to a classroom and that would be it.