Saturday, January 23, 2016

Same Interest Importance

My husband and I were talking last night about how important it is for both of us to have something that we do with Selena that is fun and interesting that just involves just her and a parent. I never in my wildest dream thought I would be riding a horse again. Though I have always loved horses, I just never gave much thought to riding with Selena. It's been really fun though.

I feel it is very important that we find same interests with our children, I am not talking about family interests, which are important too, but the one on one time doing something that both the child and the parent enjoy. We spend so much time being our child's parent, we are the one in charge, and spend time and energy just on that aspect. For some of us we spend a lot of time being a soccer mom, driving our children from one activity to another activity, they participate, perform, make sure we are watching (WATCHING from the side lines where we might be visiting with other parents or as I have observed busy on our electronics), but is that really spending time with our child?

I don't care if it is getting out and taking walks, riding bikes, playing ball, just get out there and find something you and your child enjoys together. Sure Selena and I do a lot together, but something about having one or two activities that we do together, just the two of us, promotes more free communication. We are having so much fun, laughing, trying new things, exploring how to listen to each other, work together, and have fun with each other.

This quality time with our child builds a relationship that will go with them the rest of their lives. We are unplugged and are in the moment. We often comment that we are our child's first friend and teacher but do we continue to be that part through out their lives? When I think of it in this manner I think to the time I have to connect and spend time with just my husband or with that girl friend I have, I love those times and truly need them! My child is just as important to me as they are, I have two choices with my child, I can sit on the side line and watch her run around and have fun or I can find a common ground interest, jump in with both feet and spend that quality time with her. I can be a part of building lasting memories and a strong relationship between us.

Sometimes it gives us a chance to just drop all our worries at home or work and just be a kid ourselves again. For me I truly want my children to think back and not only remember me for the parent I was, but to cherish the things we enjoyed, the times we were able to escape and be one on one in bliss just truly enjoying each other. Our children deserve to have our time, they deserve to get to know us as a person, not just as their mom or dad. It is easy to think that the time we spend driving them to from point A to point B is quality time in the car, but is it? Sure we might play a game in the car, or talk, and laugh, but are we really connected? Not really we can become disconnected because we still have to focus on our driving. I say find something that you do with your child that is just pure fun, no distractions, talk, listen, play, just let go and connect on a deep level. Your child will appreciate that in the future.

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  1. I think it's awesome that you are sharing your passion for horses with Selena. We do a number of things one on one - most similar to yours would be going for walks or playing tennis. A said the other day that her favorite thing to do together is to research something on the computer.